IF 35>45 YOU MUST BE AN OU STUDENT

Lets see if the voters are Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. I gave a quiz to some 2nd and 3rd graders in my family and they all made an A+.

I would love to see Stoops reaction if the situation were reversed. He would be saying "how could there even be a debate about this?" Mack Brown is one cool cat. No way Stoopsy shows this much class and composure. Every year they say how the Red River Shootout is so important and frequently has BCS implications. Well if OU jumps Texas tomorrow they can just go ahead and cancel next years rivalry game cause they are telling you its not such a big deal. This would also make perfect sense to why there is no playoff system. They want to hand pick teams and play thier little chess game. This team is hot right now.... This is the matchup I would love to see.... Their uniforms are so pretty.... GET IT RIGHT MORONS!!!

Update Hot Off the Press

Tim "Ragin Cajun" Hebert was at the final table with 6 players left in the 1k main event at the Venetian. That was around 2 am this morning as I was playing at Shorty's getting updates from his buds on the phone. I get to hear these Tim updates every time I play. I hear his name in my sleep. The big baller probably took it down by now and is hanging at the Tao with celebs. I aint hatin, Tim is cool. Maybe I am a little jealous that I am not able to play in those deep stack tournaments. Like a poker legend I know says " this poker pro life is not as glamorous as it seems"
Wild Bill and Gene get off your asses and get the rest of the Tim story. I got you the lead and expect some commission.

Oh yea , this small timer has been on a tear booking 7 winning sessions in a row.(even wins at Harrahs) Tonight was a nice $1500 profit. Will get into some hand break downs next post and show you why Shorty's is the best game in the state.

I want to PUKE!

Nice drop of the easy pick Gideon. Fell in your arms like a feather. Game over! Good coverage on Crabtree, just try putting a hand up when the receiver puts his hands up to catch the ball! Oh yea and nice angle by the safety to just blow by him instead of making game saving tackle. Unreal how many times defenders where there to make play but didnt. 3rd down killers all game when dbs couldnt stick a hand out or dive at ball. I remember when I played defense If I had to dive to make a play on the ball I would DO IT! Maybe I was always diving cause I was slower and had too, I dont know ,but if you work that hard to be all over some receiver you can stretch out and hit the turf when the damn ball gets there!
Worse of all, you got 2nd and goal on 5 with 1:30 and ticking, and you run a play with 23 seconds left on play clock. I was watching in disbelief as they snapped the ball. Great coaching Mack!! Ya think those 23 ticks might of helped a bit???? They lost that game in the first half with all the drops and TD opportunity. Sucks because they really turned it around in second half and was making stops on defense.
Now cant wait to see how far they drop behind OU, WHO THEY BEAT!!! Or freakin USC who blows and has played NOBODY! That includes the Buckeyes. Its all Big 12 and SEC, and no other teams belong in BCS but maybe Penn and their first test would be in a national title game.

Things could have been worse this lovely saturday. My little Jack Russel Terrier nearly got smoked on the highway. 3 different times!! I just happen to walk to my front yard with cell to return Davey's text that I couldnt make the trip to the IP Classic. I see Opey crossing the private bridge following some kids, had no clue he got out the house. 2 cars had to hit their brakes as I watch helplessly while running to road. When I get to highway my dog is crossing back toward me on road when ,conveniently, an 18 wheeler hauling cargo and car in opposite lane are zeroed in on my retarded pooch. I stuck my hand out at 18 wheeler and grimaced as the little fucker casually trots across street. I really did not expect the truck to hit his brakes at this point . The car did slow down but my dog was in line for carnage with the truck. Well the trucker locks em up and starts a little skid. I think my dog just makes it, even if he doesn't hit his breaks. But at the time I didn't even know if the damn dog was going to stop in road or go back other way. It nearly caused a major accident, as I know, the driver had hell keeping that monster in his lane while in skid. I know drivers of big rigs usually smoke those small varmints for human safety. Next time I have a beer I'm giving a toast to that trucker. I failed to mention my 4 yr old daughter was watching this unfold across the bayou. Tex dodges a bad beat here. During one of my many mood swings watching Texas game, I contemplated kicking my dog a few feet. I would have told him it was for running in street.

This could be a rough sports weekend for me. The hobbled Cowboys play the overrated Giants. Maybe they are both overrated but the boys have enough excuses. Man I hate loudmouth Antonio Pierce and local blockhead Brandon Jacobs. Jacobs is a physical freak and as smart as box of rocks. I watched him a lot in high school and know people that were close to him.
Lets just say he had a lot of help just passing grade school. Guess I wouldn't mind all his smack talk if wasn't a division rival, but he does act like a thug after a play is over.

Random Stuff

Played a couple of sessions of 5-5 at shortys. Won 1300 one night and thought I was the champion. Next session lose 1000. I suck!! My raised pots found sets. Nice! It could have been worse too, as I had to make a mini comeback. Online I played some small buy ins and cashed in half of them, 3 out of 6. But im pretty aggrivated cause I made two final tables in large fields and couldnt get by 7 or 8 more players when the payouts were getting up there. Example, in the $10 midnite madness 1600 players , I finish 8th and win like 250 when 1st pays 4k. Do it again in a rebuy event where I didnt use any rbs and fizzle out just when money was getting good, won like another 200. Okay thats enough poker talk, Im pretty tired of it lately.

Still pumped about the Horns thus far. (sorry Tiger fans, I was pulling for them as always.) I miss those few years where we were going to every home game. Bunch of married guys that got to go together and act like fools. I digress... Colt McCoy just looks unstoppable. 4 Td drives of 80-90 yards. Another big challenge with an undefeated team next week. Texas Tech offense is just sick.

Had to tivo NFL games today as I coach my sons 9-10yr flag football team. It was our playoff tournament that was held at Nicholls. Last week we were suppose to play in the stadium. Well we got to warm up on the field and were notified minutes before that the band had the field . Someone didnt communicate and our kids were teased with getting to play on a nice turf field. Of course another bad beat for me. Anyway , today we played our self into the championship to play the team we expected, the Packers.(Dr. Hagens team) A bunch of big athletic bruisers that were undefeated. Im pretty sure most if not all of them are 10 plus. We have all 9yr olds but are pretty quick with a lot of immaturity(or maybe just acting like 9). We played them twice before and played them down to the wire with just a couple of plays from pulling out a win. This game is getting pretty chippy with a few illegal tackles and physical play, it is 7-7 with 30 seconds left in first half. They have the ball deep in their end when a kid rolls out and has no where to throw. He ends up running where we are in position to make the play, and somehow 3 of my better flag pullers just whiff it. He runs down the sideline for TD, killer. So 13-7 we got ball 18 sec and my QB stares down receiver and throws pick. In this NFL youth flag you start on own 5yd line, so they have the ball on our 10 and score on last play of half and lead 20-7. Horrible turn of events in last 30 seconds!! We end up each scoring once in second half and we couldn't recover from end of half scenario and lose 26-13. It could have been a real David beats Goliath thing. Oh well, they did great for a first year team.

Brad Johnson is god awful. I cant wait to cuss Tony Romo for not taking care of the ball, I will take that coaster ride every time. Just felt so helpless knowing that no balls were going to be completed down field. If all you can do is check down, dink and dunk ,you could at least be accurate. As Charles Barkley would say, "Thats just tuurable." Tampas D had to know that they could cover a shorter field all game. Dallas D played their ass off and had too to pull out this ugly one. They needed this one to hopefully weather the storm till help comes along.

Freakin Blogger

Whats wrong with this piece of shit software? I spent a while on a post about my night at harrahs. It was some good stuff. I made a mistake of saving the fukn thing and when i posted the draft it all dissappeared but one sentence. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may be a while before I post again. Thats more than an hour of my life I cant get back now. I WANT TO SLAM THIS KEYBOARD like they did the copy machine in Office Space.

My Worst Enemy

I played several sessions since my last post. One at Shortys and a few at Harrahs. I had two virtually break evens where I was up a good amount but pissed it away and had one win of $575. Then there was this past Saturday night at Harrahs where I got down early in 1-2 game and then got a monster hand sucked out on in the worst way. I got 500 in front when I get KK on button and make it 15 to go. 2 callers and the flop goes Ad Kd 10d. Checked to me and I decide that I should not get to crazy with this hand as the board was not the greatest for a set. I bet 30 , get check raised to 100 from villian. I call, turn is A, bam! Was hoping now that he has his flush. He checks, I bet 100, he calls and I am frothing. River is another 10 . Now could there be another fukn worse card for me! This is the kinda shit that was happening over and over to me In Tunica during hurricane Gustav. Well luckbox checks and I still have him on flush or missed draw. I know I should check behind anyway ,but no I push my last 250 in a pissed manner. He calls asking me if I had AK as he flips over A 7 os. (of course!) He explains to me that he was trying to bluff me with his check raise and got lucky. Well not only did he catch a frickin miracle card but he checked the river to my tilting donkey ass. I was already down 400 and this pot would have been huge for me. Was so card dead until this hand just no way I was not getting it all in after I boated on turn. Typing this even makes me ill.

Well, I would grind out a comeback several hours later to about 100 away from being even. My table breaks up and I get moved back to table next to Joe B. I was thinking I should call it a night and feel good about my grinding comeback but told myself no. Ill sit next to Joe and bs with him and win some money. See the title of this post. My worst enemy is myself.

I will pause this story as the sleeping pill is kicking in . I will finish up the miserable poker session and talk some football. Seems my Cowboys have some drama building to say the least. I dont know if I am hearing things or not but I thought I heard ESPN report that another Cowboy went down with injury. Jason Witten slipped on a bananna peel and is out with a concussion.

Hookem Horns.

Kill the Messenger

Was planning on going to Shortys tonight but stayed too late at neighbors. He has a smoker and you can smell it a mile away. So I justified skipping live action by telling myself I would play online. Well I got sidetracked when Chris Rocks new standup act Kill the Messenger appeared on HBO. Whats wrong with me? I havent played a hand in over a week. Anyway I closed the Full Tilt window and laughed my ass off. I forget how great at standup he is. Waaaay better than his movie roles. Ill be headed to Harrahs Monday for a session and football pool. See yall there

Heads Up With Punisher

Back track a month ago, I head to the best 5-5 NL game in the state of Louisiana. They usually only have good games there on weekends but they are well worth the wait. I got there early on a friday evening and found a home in the main game as there were 2-3 must move tables. I grind for a while maybe up 1-200. I flop a set of ducks(7s6s2h) and raise bad player 1 who bet the flop, gets to bad player 2 who pushes his last 300, player 1 calls 300. I think this thru and certain im ahead vs two pair and strong draw, but hate this board. I push all in which is 350 more to player 1 and unethically tell him I have a set,but he still calls with his top two pair. Airball turn ,river is 7. Bye juicy pot!! (oh yea plus I lose money too)player 2 had A7 no spade, yea! Well a little later I flop set dueces again (amazing) and they hold up for a decent pot. All in all im back to where I was earlier up 200 or so.
The table has a couple of new additions and one guy who is racked up with roughly $1500(new guy from out of town) who I will call Punisher. Before I get to him I wanna say how dissapointed I was with a couple of regularly bad players that were at the table. This nice older lady that we call ATM was actually folding when she had second pair facing a big bet and picking her spots, I was like WTF? Did someone talk to her? I mean she was weak bad and would call two all ins with AQ preflop with a good stack. So the game was unusually slow until the Punisher showed up. He was a little tanked and always had a Corona. I had round 700 on me and proceeded to go card dead while watching the show this guy was putting on. The first time I saw him overbet the pot I was like ,okay, maybe a tricky bet with monster wanting some bait. He began to just destroy people for a while mostly with all ins on the flop or turn. Hours go by and no one can make the all in calls. Flops were either $5 or $50 too see, but you could bet your ass it could be 1 to 2 K post flop. Kept thinking someone is going to catch this nutjob. His stack was now fluctuaing from 3k to 4k ( I guess he would lose a little pot now and then though it was hard to notice with all the people he was crushing) One of the regulars Allen, had got busted for $800 from Big Pun and went and reloaded, then doubled thru Punisher and had close to 2k. Then Allen would get in another big hand with him. Cant remember who raised preflop but it was like $ 100 preflop on a J 7 5 rainbow board. Allen checked, Punisher on cue, "all in" just 2K back to Allen. Im thinking ...Allen you lucky son a bitch. Allen murmured under his breath something like "mutherfugger " lol. He took some time and made the call. Al has QQ Punisher flips over AK. Turn is a Q as Allen nearly busts out a dance move then the dealer sneak peeks river and actually moaned "Oh No" as he flipped over a 10 for broadway. Allen looked like he teared up and said in a shaky voice " I cant take this anymore" Brutal!

My first dance with the Pun came when I played A5 suited from button. Pun had raised to 25 from early which meant nothing by the way. 3 callers in front of me we see a flop of 5 2 3. Numbnuts leads out all in. Everyone folds to me and I feel this is the best spot I have had unfortunately and make the call( $600) with my top- top gut shot. He kindly flips over K9 no draw but had two overs and spikes 9 on river . Nice!!! My second buy in would dwindle and made a move with last 300 on open end draw vs the old lady I was talking about earlier. Stupid move especially vs her. Now Im in for $1100 its now down 5 handed but I cant leave as long as the magic man is here.

Well ,we are really gambling now folks and the Punisher had over 5k and chips scattered all over the end of the table. I have AK suited on button short handed and Pun goes all in preflop!! Can I please just have him dominated here? I call with 500 in front, he flips over 66 and I of course get no love. I reload one last time and this time come back with 1K. While I pray the game doesnt break up. This was so ridiculous, Pun knocked out two more players in this tournament :) and we were 3 handed. I swear I dont think anyone got up and left on their own, they just busted out to Pun. We stayed there and battled 3 handed for a few hours, sick. The other fella was a solid asian player that Pun would call Johnny Chan. I watch as Chan won some nice pots from the bullseye and was up 1K . I finally trapped my nemesis and won like a $600 pot but then get mowed down $400 in a few pots when I couldnt pull the trigger. One of them was JJ as I played them slow preflop and an ace came on flop. He grabbed a handful of green chips and bet. I make a call hoping he slows down (right!) He jams and I just want a better spot with the way he plays, so I fold feeling sick.

Chan seems to be the only survivor and starts racking up (I would have done the same ) I never blink an eye as I post my blind for heads up. I can see the floor manager and dealers looking like " are these maniacs going to keep playing ?" They are waiting on us to go home as it is 6am. The Punisher almost called it a night when we were three handed but I talked him into staying for the sport of poker. One thing that crossed my mind when we were 3 handed, this guy guy could be the worst player of all time that was just incredibly lucky or he was the greatest player in the world.

Here are the chip counts. Tex $1100 Big Punisher $5300

Oh yea forgot its been a 5-10 game since we were 5 handed not that it mattered. Anyway Pun took down several $10 limps from me while he was making it 100 to go. I somehow see a flop with Q7 os and flop two pair (here we go) Q 7 6 flop with two hearts. I make a small bet of 50 he makes it 250, I shove ,he calls. Please no heart as one comes on turn and whatever on river. My two pair is good as he throws his hand away. I can see Puns armor has been pierced and he looks pretty tired so Im looking for blood. A few hands later I called his 150 raise with AJ and flopped an Ace. He led out all in. Thank you baby Jesus! He flipped over K high and I end up winning a $4400 pot. The 800 or so he had looked like chump change now as I told myself not leaving till I get all that. As you can tell it shouldnt be too hard just have to not be unlucky. He throws in the towel and goes all in 800 preflop and I called with AJ again. I hate 60/40 but im ready to go too. Bam ship it!!!!! I would be sick If I was him but he took it well and gave me a fist pound. I had to sit there a moment in disbelief myself along with the dealer and floorman Jeff. I was stuck pretty good in that game but knew the percentages were in my favor if he kept the pedal down. I havent been back to Shortys since. I hear the legend is growing. See what stubborness can do for ya.

Tex $6400 Big Pun $0

"You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps....You insult my Queen....You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh I've chosen my words carefully Persian, perhaps you should have done the same." King Leonidas in 300

Event 2 at Gulf Coast Poker Championship

I am going to back track a little on the blog since I probably wont play live poker till this weekend. I pull into the Beau just in time for the 340 NL tourney as I planned on playing several events this trip, as it turned out it would be my only event.(around 570 enties) Loved having a decent starting stack as I was able to play a little poker early on in some spots. My stack steadily went up after several hours and at dinner break I met with Southpaw Rounder and we both had a healthy stack well above average. I moved tables more than I ever have in a tourney which I didnt care for . I finally found a home for a few hours at a table when there were around 100 left. I liked my table except that I was completely card dead and I had Gabe Costner to my left with a big stack. My one mistake was firing two continuation bets with AQ with a 10 9 4 flop against the donk of the table which I did when I first got to that table. You could just look at this guy and tell he had no clue. But he was more than willing to risk his tournament life with 9 8. I slowed down and checked the river. Nice read sir. Okay only hands vs this guy. I watched this goober limp in pot after pot with the blinds and antes getting steep and he never stopped, never raised. Just limp fold. But then he would get short stacked and wake up with AA and KK in the blinds and double up . He had AA three times in blind and KK twice, unreal. I do all I can to survive my card run and we get down to 3 tables. I reunite with limp donkey,Southpaw,and Cody from Shortys all at same table. I can see that Southpaws stack has suffered as well. We both had around 10 big blinds. To give you a visual of Limp Donk he is in a whino uniform. He looks frail and dried up with a moustache and ball cap wearing a plaid sports coat. He is on his way out this tourney when the button puts him all in and he calls. What does he have?? KK again. Limpy is back in business. Very next hand Limpy the Whino limps in under the gun LOL. Everyone folds to me on the button (probably small pairs are thrown into the muck because of limp utg.) I, however, have been playing with this shmuck and know its not much of a hand. Plus I like my hand here KQ. I shove all in. Now everytime there had been a showdown i had quality hands if he even payed attention. He starts saying "well I guess this is it" as he pushes them in. I say damn you trapped me? He flips over A2 clubs. Yes he did , set me up with the ole Ace worst rag. Air all the way for me of course. Im down to one BB and go out very next hand for 26th and $1400 for my time. Just the most horrible play from that spot with his chip count. I get clipped by a whino who claimed this was his first tournament. Welcome to Tex's world.

Southpaw, GeneD, and me would end up getting tanked that night. After Gene broke the security guards tackle while sucking down a beer, we went to literally terrorize the Waffle House and its employees.

Journey to Big D with Joe B

Joe "the nuts" and I headed to Shreveport this past weekend for a little work and play. Poker and Monday Night Football. Joe had been on me about going to some Cowboy games and I figured I better make a farewell tour for the final season at Texas Stadium. We thought about seeking out Kido Pham in one of the Dallas cash games but thought better of it and settled on the safer games at Eldorado in Shreveport.

Talk football first. The seats were great (better be) and the atmosphere was amazing. It was one of the most well played games by both teams I ever saw. It seems by the score that there wasnt much defense but other than a few big plays by both teams and 2 quick goofs by Romo everything was tightly contested. The offenses had to be perfect and earn every yard. In the end I didnt have to hear any smack from Philly fans. Im glad they can feel comfortable wearing Eagle jerseys in Dallas cause I know I couldnt go to Philly wearing Cowboy stuff which is ridiculous. Ive seen them(Philly fans) at Saints home games starting fist fights and cussing in front of familys without a care. Anyway Joe and I were seen on TV by some friends and family thanks to Joes loud ass shirt.

On the poker front, we called up Chris James who use to run a cardroom in Houma and now has one in Dallas. He said the club was not open tonight but would be Tues night, we headed back to Eldorado where we played Sunday and Tuesday night. I was utterly disgusted with myself for my session Sun night. I was up $800 in one of the tightest games Ive ever been in, Our table broke up and I moved to the half new full table. (by the way its all 1-2 nl there) I dont know what i was trying to accomplish other than I had been running so incredibly bad in previous sessions that I guess I was still chasing. As I sat down I was thinking ...You got a nice room,its midnight,you drove like 6 hours today, Joe Bueche cant keep you here all night, call it a nice win and go relax with your confidence back. But NO! I likey the poker. Long story short I bled 600 a hundo at a time. Cashed with a $200 profit and got in bed at 4am. Joe was up like 120 but never blew a big lead like I did. It felt like a loss.

Tuesday night had a better ending and I learned my lesson as I cashed up $900 and got out of there early. Really never made any monster hands which was the seemingly only way possible to make money over there. I got lucky as a guy who played like he hated money showed up late. I dont think I ever openly complained about a poker room being so tight but it was insane. Joe was even the first to complain to me about it and he was at a different table both nights. I was picking off 100 at a time from this guy who would bet or reraise from position to like $50 which was most of the time half his intial buy in. He was playing really fast and stupid and would talk about his hand every time. Only once that I remember he talked up his hand and told the guy to fold and he had a monster. One hand we were 6 handed and I raised to 20 from cutoff with A9 suited. He reraised 75 and had 75 left. Im playing with 5 or 600, I let him start talkin again as he tells me just let him have this one. I end up pushing all in (willing to gamble with this guy) and he calls, I hit air all the way as board went something like 7 10 j 5 Q and he says what he had been saying most the night "You Win". Really? I thought i was ahead even with my weak Ace but what the hell did he have? Two fairly big pots i won was with KK and AA. It had been a while since I done anthing significant with these hands, especially Kings. One of my last and best hands came against the wild villian and young dude next to me. Villian limps,young gun raises to 15 ,and I make it 35 with AA. Wild Villian calls (nice) as does young guy. Flop is 9s 7s 4c. Villian first to act who now has 300 in front checks as does Young gun. I make it $100 Franklins. what do you know wild man Moves all in and young gun calls his last 200. Out the gate I dont belive that flop hit them and i got young one on big pair. Villian starts yellin "i got you , i got two pair" I tell him "you dont have two pair" he tells me he will bet me 500 on the side. I called , villian wouldnt turn his hand over, the kid shows JJ turn brings 7c river Qh. Hold my breath a little as villian shakes his head and shows a Qc5c. Nice! LOL and thought that 7c was a good card for me. One more runner club and I was smoked. That guy was just so bad. He kept asking me why I made that call LOL.

Sometimes you can get what you want.

Howdy fellow GCP ers! By popular demand I finally opened a blog. I look forward to telling my tales on the felt and off and I hope to keep this interesting enough to get your feedback.

Fashizzle!!!!